Truncheon Judy

Humberside talent, tie rapped and PCC Han Solo

A slew of stories arose in recent weeks about officers "moonlighting" - but it seems Humberside is home to some particularly enterprising cops. Roughly 12 per cent of warranted officers in the region have second jobs. Examples include the following: three Humberside PCs are chimney sweeps, one is the Lord Mayor's piper and another earns cash cooking pies. In addition, one member of police staff describes themselves as a "seasonal bush beater". Humberside cop turned comedian Alfie Moore said it was a mystery why the region held such a wellspring of diverse talent. He added: "I would have said that in Humberside we are not particularly good at multi-tasking."

Former Home Office crime prevention minister Norman Baker was named as among 2014's "worst dressed men" by magazine GQ - but he told this column he has no intention of ditching the orange tie that earned him this spurious accolade. The Lib Dem MP, who resigned from the Home Office amid a row with Theresa May said: "Why should I stop wearing it? It's my party colour. I was in the same category as Ozwald Boateng, and he's a bloody Savile Row tailor for god's sake." He added: "One of the people who came in the top 10 best dressed men was wearing a tent. I think they got the list the wrong way round."

Staying with the Home Office, its Permanent Secretary Mark Sedwill delivered the annual Paul McKeever Memorial Lecture at the House of Commons in memory of the late chairman of the Police Federation. Introducing the speaker, MP Keith Vaz said: "Some may think that his appointment as the Prime Minister's Special Representative to Afghanistan was perfect training to be the Permanent Secretary at the Home Office." Mr Sedwill agreed he needed "body armour" to protect him in both roles. In a reference to stories about his officials allegedly redrafting letters by the former chair of the child sex abuse inquiry, he added: "I can assure you, before you ask, that I drafted this speech myself, it didn't go through seven drafts, and they were all mine."

PoliceOracle.com recently attempted to gain an insight into the types of musculoskeletal injury which can apparently arise as a result of increased use of gizmos like the tablets that are zealously being rolled out to neighbourhood officers around the country. One member of a police force's IT crowd gave a bleak insight into the situation at the coalface. "There are other types of repetitive strain injury - but that's unrelated to the technology itself," he said. We'd rather not have known that, actually.

With delicious irony, transport minister John Hayes arrived late for a recent roads conference because of a flat tyre.

Meanwhile in Wales, county councillors considering a North Wales Police plan to rent out a firearms training complex to gun clubs to earn extra bucks seemed not to know what they were voting on. The Denbighshire County Council planning hearing ended in farce amid confused shouting from local politicians who thought they were voting on an amendment rather than the plan itself. Had they understood the process, the application might well have been passed.

Devon and Cornwall's Police and Crime Commissioner Tony Hogg has been criticised for being on holiday in Canada instead of at a key budget meeting to discuss raising council tax. He said he was abroad visiting his son, who serves in the armed forces.

And finally, which police and crime commissioner has on the wall of his office a picture of his face superimposed onto the body of Harrison Ford, who played Han Solo in Star Wars? The answer is Matthew Ellis, the PCC for Staffordshire - and apparenty he bought the image during a visit to an American theme park. Last year Mr Ellis told PoliceOracle.com he would be "happy to go and lie on a beach and fly helicopters", adding: "I don’t need to work.” Why settle for helicopters when you can fly the Millennium Falcon?

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